Can we talk about life coaching & racism for a minute?

I was talking with a colleague the other day and the question came up, “is the life coaching industry inherently racist” and I think, yeah, it is. It’s not just because the predominant demographic of life coaches are white folks–it’s because it’s an industry that is set up to serve

I’m done being sorry

“I’m sorry if that hurts you.” “I’m sorry if that offends you,” “I’m sorry for crying.”  “I’m sorry for being angry.” If you are anything like me, you’ve said those things above or something just like it. You have found yourself expressing how “sorry” you are for speaking up for

The Neuroscience of Love

Many times, I’ve had people ask me why they should consider hiring a coach or a therapist to improve their relationships. They wonder “how is talking to someone going to change things for me?” In other words, how does it work? Well, working with another person in an intimate way,

Online Dating Etiquette for Men: Always Follow Wheaton’s Law.

“I’m sorry…it’s just that you remind me of my wife, except wrinkly.” “Makes me want to go talk to the hot pediatrician who likes me better than you. She’s younger than you too. And did I mention hot, and fit. And more successful.”  The messages you’ve just read are messages

I got a Ph.D. and nothing changed

When I was young, I told my parents I wanted to become a psychologist. In June, that goal was fulfilled. After years of hard work, sacrifice and hard-core learning, I woke up the day following my dissertation defense to find that nothing had changed. There were no PhD gods descending,

Can you feel me?

When the early morning sun Caresses your skin Warming you in your resting place When the chilled air gently  Kisses your body Teasing you awake, When the bird greets you Her ecstatic song and dance Coaxing a smile to your face, Can you feel me? I am in the howl

Taking back your no

She was young when we met—and had lived more life in her few years than many adults. By the time she made it to me, she was deeply wounded after years of abandonment that was then followed by the deepest type of betrayal a young girl can experience.  She could

Women, Avoid making this Mistake with Your Man

Yesterday, I was enjoying a day at the lake with my family when suddenly, we noticed a jet ski sinking in the middle of the lake. A boat and another jet skier came to help the rider and the situation seemed under control, albeit unfortunate. As I was walking back

Deconstructing the Soul Mate Myth

One of the most damaging concepts of society has been that of the idea of “soul mates.” Now, before you scream “heresy,” hear me out. As a recovering hopeless romantic, I get it. The idea of having one special person that is custom made just for you sounds super appealing.  It’s unique.

Dear Emotionally Ambivalent Man

I could have loved you. A few years ago, I probably would have. I would have willingly gotten on the roller-coaster that is you and rode it until it flew off the rails. I would have believed that somehow, someday, it would be worth it. I would have hummed the

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